so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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