Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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