Nicole vs. Life
Tell her she can't have a vagina
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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