walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
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i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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