Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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