where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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