i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
