Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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