You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
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I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
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Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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