she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
