I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
