Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
