you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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