So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
