he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
