i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
