we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
