the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
