She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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