sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
