this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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