Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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