I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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