I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
