I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
