On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
