Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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