I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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