So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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