So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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