whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
