Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
