So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Pants are for mortals
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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