and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
