I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
