I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
