I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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