yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
