HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
