I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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