We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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