when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
