found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
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Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
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For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though