last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.