I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling