i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.