i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
