Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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