I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
