I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
