do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
