hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
