i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
