Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
only if we run a train.
done.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
