I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
