It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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