This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
