I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize