If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
